Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You pole danced in your parka.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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