so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
