it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
