Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
People in love make me want to vomit
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
