problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
