I like to think it a success when the cops are called
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
