I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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