Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
