Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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