Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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