Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
