Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
