He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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