apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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