I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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