I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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