Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
