bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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