dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
