he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
