meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
