You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize