weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
