Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
