All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
