Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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