3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
