bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
