i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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