Apparently you make a good broom.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
