She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
