I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I've blown a few things in my day
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
