I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
