Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
