How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
