Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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