It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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