we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
