I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
