hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
