My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
