She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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