After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
