did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
