My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
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