It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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