New low: just hacked my moms facebook
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
