I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
