Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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