I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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