dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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