absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
