I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
