He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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