Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
