Your tits are I can't wait for
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
