I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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