you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
