Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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