Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
