i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
