Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
