You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
